Goodbye, Gracias 2022!

Another few moments and 2022 will be coming to a close. We’ll be ringing out the old, and ringing in the new. The year 2022 has been a year of achievements and learning experiences for one and all, I’m sure. I would like to share some nuggets I picked up along the way through my interactions with others and myself. I hope you’ll be able to relate. Here goes...

Life goes on:

With the Pandemic easing off in the beginning of the year much of the earlier lifestyle resumed. Schools and colleges re-opened and students trickled back, first in fewer numbers and then more, till the classrooms regained their former glories. Banks and offices were alive with their complete staff on floors. Irrespective of the loss we all faced in some way or the other life didn't stop. It changed course for some, yes, but it didn't cease. Life keeps moving, but the worth of this journey may diminish or increase depending on your desire to live or exist.

Do your best:

We may give our best but it may not be enough for some. They may look at our efforts with doubt, suspicion or even with a feeling of entitlement but not gratitude. We've got to accept it not because we have to but because we're kinder than them. We've been there, we know what it is to want someone to help us but there has been no one to give us a hand so we learnt to stand up for ourselves. And, you know what... when we reach out to others we just want to and not because we expect anything. Don’t expect anything but don’t underestimate the value of an acknowledgement either. It feels good to be appreciated, if not always, then sometimes, doesn’t it?

Givers are happier:

The Takers have no limits but the Givers are happier. They sleep peacefully, knowing that they reached out when they could, many a times unaware of the evil intentions of the Takers. A clear heart can be fooled and hurt but it can never be defiled. When you have more, give more because God thought you worthy of receiving more so that you could help more. Don’t let anyone stop you from being the kind soul you are. But be wise not to let yourself be used. Learn where to draw the line.

Love even when you’ve been hurt:

You’ve been in love. You’ve given your time, effort, and feelings to this person, this relationship. It didn’t work out, they let you down. Your heart has been bruised up really bad. You’ve been wounded and it really hurts. ‘Remember when a wound is tired of crying, it will start to sing’. ‘Love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay. Love isn’t love till you give it away.’ Loving someone wasn’t your fault; they just weren’t prepared to receive it. Don’t beat yourself up for loving them. You’re a wonderful person who took the risk of opening your heart and pouring out the love you felt. How were you to know what was to come? It takes a lot of courage to bare your soul knowing that the only person who can destroy you is the one you love and you choose to do that. You choose... them, because you trust them. They broke your trust, and it’s not your fault. You’re NOT a fool. You’ve been brave to love. So, don’t shut out or shut in the love you’re capable of receiving or giving. Believe me there are many who need that kind of selfless, all encompassing love. Look around and you will find so many lives you can enrich by pouring your love into their darkness.

Success comes to those who seek it:

You’ve got to make the effort in the right direction. The effort has to be persistent and consistent. You can’t quit when you’re tired. You quit when you’re done. You can rest for a while but if you want to succeed you can’t step back. You can’t fall behind, not even when those who want to see you fail start creating diversions. Give your rivals a reason to clench their fists and gnash their teeth in frustration. The fruit of success is sweet and worthy of the hustle. When you win, when you hold that trophy... that prize, your heart sings with joy. That exhilaration is a real thing! You feel you’ve finally achieved something and it makes you hungry for more. Remember, a lion or an eagle never eats dead meat. So, you need to set out to hunt the next prey, your next goal till you achieve success. Don’t settle for less when you can have more. Don’t stop at one peak when there are more to scale.

Goodbyes are difficult but real:

It’s difficult to say goodbye to a loved one or even to a pet. Goodbyes are real and one has to face them with courage. Acceptance is the key, however difficult. In our journey of life different people or pets accompany us for a distance but then at certain turns of the road we have to say goodbye and walk onward. We have to believe that someone else will join us as we move ahead. But for that we have to keep walking, we can’t turn back however long we look behind with pain and tears. Someday, when our journey ends we’ll be reunited with all our loved ones who had left us to travel to the next world before us. A soothing thought, indeed! It makes the pain of separation more bearable. Bid them a heart warming goodbye and step ahead.

Happiness comes from within:

Many say that happiness is an inside job. True that happiness comes from within but there’s no harm in bringing smiles to someone. All it takes is just one little thoughtful act, a compliment or a kind word to light up faces. It’s such a wonderful feeling to be able to make someone happy. A surprise is always welcome. And, then of course there are those grumpy people who never want to be happy no matter what you do. You can’t help them and it’s not your fault. Don’t stick around those who always complain and criticize. They are like ‘Dementors’, and they will suck all your light, your happiness. Share your joy with those who are willing to receive it. Let your sunshine warm the hearts of all those around you. Trust me, what you give will come back some day when your sky is gray and you need a little light. It did for me.

Travel and Socialise:

Whenever you get a chance get out of your home whether to take short trips around your city or journey to different places outside. Meet people, people you know, people you don’t know. Converse, interact. You’ll be amazed by what you’ll learn. I recently got into a conversation with a popcorn seller, a young boy. He’d hardly been to school, he said. As he roasted popcorn in that huge vessel on a blazing fire he told me he travelled from his house in U.P. to Rajasthan to earn money for his family. During the pandemic his family had no source of income other than their fields. I remembered a similar story a camel cart owner narrated on another occasion just a month ago in Pushkar. When we meet people and talk with them we realize that we’re living better lives with God’s grace. We realize there’s a wide world out there where people live in difficult circumstances and still smile. You never know when an inspiring moment is waiting for you to change your way of thinking and perceiving life. Be open, be receptive to the world around you.

Never give up:

Try, try, try, till you succeed has always been my favourite credo. Never ever give up before you’ve tried really hard. I personally am afraid to throw in the towel before I’ve done absolutely everything I can do lest I may be at the achieving point and unfortunately decided to step back. And, once you’ve given your all to a person, situation or idea and it doesn’t seem to budge, take your power away. There’s no point banging on a door that will never open, is there? Maybe the door is not yours to open, you tried, you made the effort and it didn’t bear fruit. But you did try your very best. Just a few days ago, a stray cat was stuck on a school building near my home. It cried piteously for two days and nights before I realized it was not their pet cat. I called up to the manager who lived on the premises after obtaining the personal contact number. I was assured that they had tried to get the cat out but it wouldn’t leave. After half an hour I called back saying that I was coming over to help get the cat out. I carried some food with me for the hungry wretch hoping to lure it out to freedom with something to eat. On a face-to-face meeting with the person I got to know they tried to rescue the cat by shooing it as the servants were on leave and they had no idea which keys would take them to the building. I took a deep breath and told her to carry all the keys and that I would try all of them if I had to. She finally called the only two servants around and we reached the wing of the building where the cat was stuck. The animal, but natural hid itself and refused to come out. After an hour of calling and searching I decided to leave the food for it glad it would not have to sleep hungry that night at least. Maybe with its belly full it would be eager to renew its struggles to escape. The manager promised that the next day the servants would be back and they would get the cat out. I thanked her and told her that at night I would be able to sleep peacefully knowing that I had made an effort even if I had not succeeded. What she didn’t know was that I had made up my mind to visit the next day in the event that the animal wasn’t rescued. Luckily, I didn’t need to do that.

Be grateful:

The attitude of gratitude can take you a long way. Always be thankful for everything you have in life. Never take anything for granted. In the words of Oprah Winfrey, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” It’s good to be ambitious but not ungrateful or greedy. There are some who never realize the thought or effort you invested to do something for them. They may brush it aside in the most heartless manner. They may even think you calculated the benefits you can reap from performing the ‘act’. That’s their way of perceiving it not yours. Don’t be disturbed. Remember, you perceive others the way you are. In other words, you see others as a reflection of yourself. Some people may never be grateful to you or they may exhibit fake gratitude. Don’t let this impact your sense of gratefulness when you receive anything. However, insignificant the word or action, you’re not entitled to get it. Someone gave you their time, their thought or their effort... appreciate it. The more you are thankful, the more you will have, to be thankful for.

Well folks, there may be more experiences that refuse to make an appearance on my psyche at the moment. So, that’s all for now! I guess it’s time you should go and celebrate the new day and the new year for with it will come more learning. Let’s welcome 2023 with hope!

‘Ring out the old, ring in the new,

Ring, happy bells, across the snow:

The year is going, let him go;

Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Wish you all a very Happy New Year!’