The lonely unloved, Soan Pap-di

It’s the first weekend after Diwali! Not many crackers can be heard in the vicinity. I’m toiling away on my laptop working on this write-up, just for you because I cannot break promises... and I had promised that... I’m not making much sense. Right? So, let me begin at the beginning!

Last night for some reason I couldn’t sleep. I’ve read somewhere that when someone is dreaming of you, you can’t fall asleep in the real world. I wonder if it’s true. Do you have any idea about this? If you have, do share your thoughts with me on this matter.

Anyway, so last night I couldn’t fall asleep and after tossing and turning for two hours I decided to step out for some fresh air. It was absolutely silent, not a sound could be heard. Not a cracker, not an owl screeching! Nothing! And, then... I heard some whispers!

“Oh... how I hate them! No respect... at all!”

“You too? I thought I was the only unwanted one!”

“Come on! We belong to the same family... of desserts, I mean!”

I listened for a few seconds and then tried to figure out from where the voices were coming. You’ll be amazed if I tell you who was speaking! I doubt if you’ll even believe me... but as I pledged to them I would... I’ll have to tell you...

So, I tip-toed to the neighbour’s dustbin kept outdoors and there lying beside the shabby bucket were two brand new shining boxes of... Soan Papdi! One red, and the other green.

“Shhh...” said one of them. “I can smell a human.”

“Hmm... I heard footsteps too,” said the other.

“Hello...” I said to the two, who screamed and looked at me in alarm. “Please... please... don’t be afraid of me. I’m an author. I would love to hear your story.”

“Ohh... that’s why you can hear us! Phew! I thought it must have been some senseless, heartless creature, perhaps the one who threw us out!” said the green box.

“No... no... it’s just me! I’m fond of all kinds of sweets... even Soan Papdi!” I added quickly. “But why are you out here? That also, two of you? Isn’t it dangerous for you to be out here? You know... some cat or rat or bat may attack you!”

“Like hell! No cats, bats or even rats look at us. We’re the unwanted guys! Ours is a really sad story,” said the red box fellow.

“Ohh... you can tell me! I may consider writing about you...” I urged them. “You know, they say that the pen is mightier than the sword.”

“Very well, I’ll tell you our sad story but I’ll sing it for you...” said the green boxed guy.

“Oh, alright! I don’t mind, if it’s not too long!” I shrugged.

“Very well, here it goes...” he said. “Hmmm...

I’m the one and only - Soan Pap-di

Not loved as the fancy Rab-di...

Yo... Yo...

I have no voice... no melo-dy...

I’m the lonely, unloved - Soan Pap-di

No guys, don’t ever want me

Come on, Come on... tell me

Yo... Yo...

Don’t I have, any chemist-ry?

I’m the lonely, unloved - Soan Pap-di!

Chal heroinee... chal-e side hat jaa

Nahin aataa mujhe dance, cha-cha

Yo... Yo...

Main, hoon ekdum bechara-a

Soan Papdi - haalaat ka maar-a

‘Rob Peter, pay Paul’, kehte hain

Mujhse Parcel game, khelte hain

Yo... Yo...

Main ‘not fit’ hoon for even kabbad-di

I’m the lonely, unloved - Soan Pap-di!

Kya nahin hain koi meri feel-ings?

Kab tak chalengi double inn-ings?

Yo... Yo...

I’m the lonely, unloved – Soan Pap-di

Kachra in front of the Kaju – Kat-li!

Yo... Yo...

I’m the lonely, unloved – Soan Pap-di

I’m the lonely, unloved – Soan Pap-di!”

“Awesome... Brilliant!” I clapped loudly. “Why you don’t try for the Reality Shows on television... the ones for singing, I mean. You’ll be an instant hit!”

“Shhh... Talk softly before you’re hit by a flying chhapal! And, your neighbour’s aim is accurate that’s why we both are here. We were not thrown but flung out by his expert hand,” said the red box.

“Ohhh... I didn’t know...” I began, only to be silenced abruptly by a booming voice.

“Who’s there? What’s going on? Who’s outside?” roared my neighbour.

I decided it was best to disappear rather than answer logical questions with an illogical tale and rap-song of the unwanted Soan Papdi at those unearthly hours after midnight. I didn’t fancy being hit by a flying chhapal or anything else. But I couldn’t break my promise to those two wonderful guys; hence, I’m writing this piece to immortalize them. Tell me... you do believe this tale, don’t you?

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